Closure...

Closure, that is what I need the most at the moment. I need a reason to stop this polygamous thoughts that everything and everyone will fall on the same path to humanity when I myself know that most of them isn't humane enough for their emotion to show and let people in. Being a "Cancer" is hard, the amount if uncanny emotion that we keep is unbearable at times but for some reason we keep doing it because it feels as if its the most logic and rational course of "HUMAN" act to do or just plain psychotic masochist.

I can't keep throwing my trust around as if its something that can be handed out freely, I have my own values too. If I have but one chance then I say Screw you! let me have a fresh start. Friends need to know when one has been left alone, one forgets, when one forgets then one stops caring. The dual nature of mine which being; Kindness and Sadism is conditional but for some reason its always me apologizing for being "Inconsiderate" and plain "Ridiculous".

" Your heart dictates your action" is what they always say or what I've heard at least, then again they also said that its karma. Often I find no relation on how these affect human values, they seem to never change and its pissing me off. If sheer revenge is my resolute then it contradicts my principles but what other purpose can I have in order to pull through.

My thoughts ridicule me,it got me dependent.Truth be told I am still infuriated by the actions which is intentional and often with no reason. I guess it makes no difference, I am left when help is all I need, valued only as somebody. I'm blowing things out of proportion here but all and all it is the same..